Where to start

The title says it all. I am so messed up in my life right now. Just as i was pulling it all together too. I guess i should have seen this coming i always fuck it up some how. Lets start with Nicole, an awesome person and was one of my closest friends. I even helped her get a boy she liked when i was crushing over her. But whatever that is not that point here. I fucked up at anime north and i did things i should have done when her and her boyfriend where still there. The fucked up person i am couldn't wait. It was wrong of me and fucked up i know. For the night you had to sit through i am sorry. I wish i could take it back. Cause of that one night i have lost Nicole. She was a great friend and i am sorry for messing up. I hope you can get over your past and challenges in your our character to do the things you want do in life. Never give up on things. I still haven't given up on our friendship but we do need a break or this will get worse.


The next thing is that at work there is a position available for team leader which is just before supervisor. Now i wasn't sure i was going to go for it cause i wanted to keep my night shift. But then i was thinking i need to move forward in life i can't just stop where i am and need to you up until i have out grown it or surpassed it. Whatever the case my be. So i am the first one to have the interview done and i don't know how long it will take for them to choose. They wont give me a hint on how well i did. I know i messed up on the last question but i know the right answer now and i would go by it. oh well i guess what happens happens.


This one kinda ties in with the last point. But i am putting off college until the semester cause i have to get a apartment for Haley and I since her family is planing on going to north bay for a job and she doesn't want to go. She has moved to much in her life and her family is too chaotic. People have no idea how raw a person is when they are in high school and how much stress is in high school alone. Parents treat you like shit cause they feel like you doing nothing. where for school each class things they are most important and you get stupid homework. Then there is your social a life with drama on its only level and if you work there more time gone which your parents nor you teachers would understand for some reason. So yeah i love Haley and i gave her a choice you can stay with your family then you would be leaving me. Which is fine i understand that. It is her family like i wouldn't stand in her way, all i want is for her to be happy. or i told her i would but my life on pause and get a apartment for her and I. After that i would go to college part time and get osap since i would be by "myself" in Mohawks eyes since i would be the only one paying the bill for a bit. Cause of that i would be accepted for OSAP.

The pressure of getting an apartment at my age and with school, social problems and all that and on top of that money problems in i owe money as it is. i have to give a grand to the bank for my visa. So yeah i am stressed out a bit i keep a smile when i can and i work through it all.