An after thought

This is all i am. i am the back up plan. IF the guy u want doesn't want u there is always me. You know the one that really does care, has a job and willing to spend on you just to see you smile. The one that gives his all only to be used until they are bored and throw me away. This is who i am. Its funny i should be pissed or sad even hurt. Yet i had a question on Formspring it was "Would you rather love but never be loved, or be loved but never love?" it is truly an outstanding question. The answer i gave is true but not at detailed as the answer should be. My answer was i would rather love then be loved. Since this is my answer and it is true it makes sense why i am not pissed or sad or even hurt by the fact i am an after thought. The reason is i am happy when i make someone i "love" smile. Love meaning someone close to me boy or girl.

Now the reason i gave that answer besides the fact it is a simple straight forward answer and true. IS the fact in ever relationship i have give it my all to make it work, i go the extra steps that aren't need to make sure they are happy. If she is happy then i am happy since i know at that very moment i am the one you caused her to smile or feel the way she does. Also the ability to love is very important. I believe without the ability to care, to love we are not human. Its pretty simple reasoning i know but still. This is my reason and i stand by it.

As humans we have some very powerful emotions and Love is one of them. It makes us do crazy things that we would normally never do.

OMFG YESSSSS

SO this POST IS FOR JOE WHO IS NOW WORKING. EVEN BETTER HE IS PART OF A UNION NOW. AFTER A BIT HE WILL GET SOME NICE BENEFITS. JOE IS WORKING AGAIN LIKE YESSSSSS. GOOD FOR HIM.

First day at coop and reflection

So like today is my first day at coop again. I can't believe it has been like months since i have been here. It is nice to be back. Sadly tho i lost my office to some new guy that works with one of the businesses in here. I believe there is three. Icor, Talkway which are both run by George although Cheryl owns Icor. Then there is a photo thing here. Umm Studio DVM i believe. Since i have not meet this guy yet idk which one he is apart of. Yet he took my office >.< i shall kill him. nah i am using the boardroom so like its not too bad. got a tv with cable hook up, sound system, and a computer so like its all good. Although i just brought my laptop and i am using that xD.
NOTE FOR GILLIS: i am using the android phone for wifi mostly because i can, but yeah it works fine. I don't know what u did to mess it up i did the same thing we did at ur house and it is working and it is fast. /end NOTE FOR GILLIS

SO yeah i started my logs and kinda started the assignments i got to do for like oct 6th. xD. Yeah it is slow atm but like it is 10 am so not sure how busy i computer company would be.



OK SECOND PART
REFLECTION:
So this is mostly about me and like how i have been acting to people and shit like that. I have been semi fake for the past little bit. I have been really pissed off the past month or so and i have been putting on a fake smile and been happy for people. Like my fb status says "How u act means more to ppl then how u feel. To this i have chosen to act on how i feel so u all will get to know how i feel." so yeah i have decided not to make the effort to talk to people that don't talk to me or i don't deal with everyday. Since all i am doing is trying to form something thats not there aka a friendship. Since the Convo are always one sided me asking questions trying to keep convos going. so that is done. If i dislike you and i have been nice that is coming to an ended. If i like you hint Jessie and Kayla i am going to be more forward. Since for starters Kayla u and i already ruined one relationship u had why not another one. Also u and i were doing stuff before u decided to date Taylor. I can't see him as ur bf. He is ur ma-boy servant. You date him because u can control him. As for Jessie OH MY GOD please make up ur mind and let me come see you soon. Stop this whole game of u needing to figure shit out for urself then deciding to flirt with other guys. You have no idea how much u effect me. I have liked you for so long i just never say anything happening and when i finally did i was so happy. Then after that one night where i thought things could work out everything stopped and it seems to be going backwards. So yeah i am going to be more straight forward with you two. starting now and whatever one i end up with i will be happy, since both of u effect my emotions and my day more then anything.

OK

WEll most importantly Jessie is single and i am still good i guess she didn't answer that. part but we are still talking so i will take it as a plus. I will help her with whatever i can, that she wants my help with. idk y i am trying so hard to make this work, every time i do that it doesn't.

yeah, yeah, yeah....

so school is tomorrow, that should be fun i guess. idk i don't really need it. No i don't need it. I only took school because i didn't want to be screwed over and end up doing nothing. I got a job now tho so like School is in the way of me making more money and working more shifts. The only reason i am not dropping out is because i want to finish what i started and it is coop. I don't want to ruin a relationship with a company that could end up hiring me. Although not like i do much at Icor anyways xD, i already told work that if they really need me then to tell me in advance so i could get out of coop.

Also it is going to suck since most people i am friends with are going to university and college that aren't in Hamilton so like that kinda sucks. No it does suck, but its good for them and i hope they enjoy themselves.

So yeah i am i am not sure whats going on with Jessie and i, i thought things were going good. I was getting ready to ask her out when i take her out on a date which she agreed too. Then today she has a bf so say fb. >.> i really hope she is single and it is a joke or like idk i want her to be single. xD If she is dating this guy i have proven once again the nice guy finishes last, well no i can't say that maybe this guy is better then me. Not like its that hard. I am most likely over thinking this but since Jessie stopped talking when i brought it up and was like i hope things work out, she stops talking and i am like UGH.

oh well i guess things happen right School tomorrow, setting up my parents computer and yeah thats my day tomorrow. xD
Weds i am hanging with Nicole :D that should be fun i haven't gotten to hang out with her in ages. then thursday and friday i work and saturday, i am chillen with Ryan and later on my dad is going to help me with pool. and sunday i work. I have cadets the monday after that idk when i work next week, i will find out thursday.

yo!

so.... this is eric playing around with doms android phone....err... clara and scott are alone upstairs in my room right now not making any noise....errrr. yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh xD

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new phone

sooooooo like i havent slept xD. Gillis stayed the night at my house. he came over to get my phone with me and to play civ 4 with paul and i. So yeah that means gillis didn't sleep either. which is bad seen like he needa to write his g1 today. xD i was too untill i bought my phone and like my work choose not to use direcrlt deposit. for me pay this week. so i am broke >.< untill i work and get to cash my check.

but yeah whatever the phone is awesome and well worth the money. i deff say ppl should buy the samsung galaxy s.

btw this post was done off my phone

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