FIRST LABEL

Now is just like every time and know just like then I am hurt. Now feeling worthless and untrusting of others; that I want to trust. you do you do this. Better question why do i let you knowing whats going to happen, I jump for it hoping it will be different. but every time no matter how much time passes it ends the same.... I just want you to know I love you and once you how much I care and that no one is like me. That I am right here. That I have gone though so much for you and will go though so much more. Maybe I will find someone else and they will realize what they have. They will make me happy they way you can. They say you have three great women in my life and I know your one of them. Which means I have two more but I don`t know if I want them. Or at least i don`t want them right now. Cause for some crazy reason i still believe in you. I still want you. Even though all you have done in the end is hurt me. The moments you have made me smile and happy mean so much more. I just want to get this off my chest maybe I will feel better, maybe this will help me move on. Once again all i want you to know is that i love you Corrine and that you have impacted my life in such a massive way. Just wish you could fully understand.

110 but like that matters right

anyways in answer to my last blog post i was right. we are dating and it is going to suck cause i can't see her until like next week cause i work weds to sunday and like i could ask her to hang tomorrow. but like i seen her the past 3 days so i don't want to sound clinging and like annoying. but at the same time seeing her at cadets sucks cause we are both like super busy and like can't talk and at cadets we can't show anything anyways. so yeah

why.. i don't understand.

Ok this blog post could be too early for me to rant. but i need to vent so too bad.

So for people who read this and know me. You guys know that i really liked Corrine and she is the only person i have given a second chance to. But it didn't turn out well i was favoring and she liked someone else. YET it has come back again. that we like each other. I am willing to give her another shot. WHY... i don't understand. I never give second changes she was the first and now she is the first to get a third. Like do i love her? i really don't know. All i want to do when i am around her is hold her. keep her close and talk about anything. But the fact has not changed she hurt me the first time and the second time i kinda was like its not going to happen and i was into Kayla more and Corrine was into Jared more. so how will this third time play out. like ugh. i get to see her tomorrow and i said we need to talk. since she text me saying how she wanted to kiss me. after we were like semi cuddling. IDK. thats why this blog is early cause after i talk to her tomorrow hopefully i will know whats going on

College

Well yesterday Dec 1st, i went to my coop seminar and got to see a whole bunch of people. Which is nice, the seminar itself was funny since i kinda just left and didn't do work. since i don't need too. I went to guidance and got some green or yellow paper idk. Either way it ended with me applying for college. So i applied at Mohawk college, the fennel campus for pretech. why pretech cause i was lazy in high school and didn't grab grade 12 math xD. Oh well it will shorten my second year when i start computer engineering cause i will already have a lot of the credits. Besides i never do things the easy way anyways. if it will talk longer hopefully i will learn more. Since i am not a genius or smart. I have to work hard for everything. so maybe longer the better.

Then i went to work 4 to cl(11) and Nathan was working. Always fun because we have the must fucked convos. This time it was about how we need to blow up A&W, we were planning it out then your supervisor walked by and was like WTF. SO yeah is A&W blows up i am sure Nathan and i will be to blame. We also were talking about an magnetic car system. that you have cars made out of light material and only the plates are metal and have a magnet to pull the car. There were alot of flaws and we decided that the light power pod idea was better.

i hate it when this happens.

So which one is more important if both is no lt possible. Ones self happiness or the happiness of others(friends). Also are they truly friends if they would block something that could make me happier. But would i be friend being self and going for it when i know there would dissapprove and be hurt by it.

It really suck. I think simply it seems right and make sense. Thinking simply would he for myself. Now once i come back into reality and think of my friends and the way they think and feel it almost feela wrong amd that it would be hurting them.

But i want both and i know that cant happen here. I will need to make a choice of who side i am on or to stay in the middle. Also idk if i am i. The middle i believe i have picked a side with wanting to say it. Ugh. Why are ppl stupid and hold hatefully feelings towards ppl it is stupid.

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umm what i night :D D:

First i thought i was called into work so i cancelled the hangout at splitsville. Turns out the person that called in decided he would make it so i didn't need too come in. Well okay so the few people that were going to chill i was like lets go to Joes and make it an Anime night haven't done that in some time.

Well it was fun i got to Joe's at sevenish and Aaron around 7:30 Sammie also texted me around then to see her and Care could come to the hang out thing. We said sure... I said sure. so After telling them use google maps to find joes house. They were like can u meet use somewhere. i was like sure u choose a place. They picked Tims close to joes house. Which is cool they said they be an hourish. After that i texted Chels to see when she was coming and she said where does joe live again. Gave her the address and she is like i am on my way.

First i don't mind Care coming along but i know there is problems with her and Chels and thats why she wasn't invited cause Chels was. So anyways Chels came before Sammie and Care. Afte a couple texts from sammie saying how they will be late and they are waiting on buses. We went to tims to wait for them. Well after i called them they asked to talk to Chels. After she got on the phone a few secs later all i heard was WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Well after that she gave me my phone and was like they are behind tims. So she went to meet them after walking around tims she was confused and i was like where are they. She is like idk. So i called them and we found out they were near the bowling alley. Then i saw Quinn and noticed Chels was asking him why he was here. xD
Anyways Quinn left and Care, Sammie and Chels came with me to meet up with joe and Aaron. After that we got pizza, which some how sammie and care didn't get one even tho i put money in for them :c. I am sorry i put money forward to for you guys. Not sure what happened After that we picked up Narcy from work and went back to joes.

The next hour after waiting 3 hours on Care and sammie where them ignoring us and leaving the room. Aaron offered them some of his pizza i was going to but i gave half to Narcy. so anyways after a bit sammie texted me saying Care wasn't feeling well and they were going to leave so i was like ok it was nice to see u again. Well yeah then they got Chels to come with them. I see well it turns out that they went back to quinn's and Care was fine. -.- Not like we waited for u. Not like i got bitched out because i invited you. not like i was like chill its they can come.

Yeah then i get burned thanks guys. In all fairness to Chels she didn't know. I am sure she didn't want to leave. Since she told me that. she wanted to see Gillis and chill like old times. But sammie and Care didn't let that.

The night ended with Gillis treating us to tim hortons been there enough times xD. Now i got to get up in like 6 hours for a parade and i am tired i am going to sleep. In gen it was a good night.

So am i hypocritical

So i am a very social person and i get along with most people. I like the fact i can easily get along with people and like most people i like it when i get attention. Yet i hate people and society itself. I turn on my music and put on my headphones and walk down the street to avoid people. If someone stops me to ask me something all i can think is your a fucking dumb ass i have headphones on and i am looking away from u. Like why don't u ask someone else. Like i hate dealing with people and talking to most people. I only like talking to a few people.

Choices, decision, life styles

ugh soo many projects to work on, like moving out, road trip, school, cadets, work, license, insurance . the key is to find out which one i should work on and which ones i can drop.

My parents are saying when i am 10 all the rules i have are gone.... ok so if i listen to them i wait and see that puts off moving out until after march 2nd. also that means i have to go though with school and cadets until then. Since i age out when i am 19 of cadets. First same ends in Jan something. so i can work on it but not fully only when i get free time.

School and cadets are timers i am committed until it is done or i age out. So they are up front for now. So at those times i am done with them.

Work is top priority, it comes first and it always will. I need money it is a shame but it is true. Also it keeps me busy.

License and insurance need to be done before the summer for the road trip. Also i want and need the freedom that comes with driving.

An after thought

This is all i am. i am the back up plan. IF the guy u want doesn't want u there is always me. You know the one that really does care, has a job and willing to spend on you just to see you smile. The one that gives his all only to be used until they are bored and throw me away. This is who i am. Its funny i should be pissed or sad even hurt. Yet i had a question on Formspring it was "Would you rather love but never be loved, or be loved but never love?" it is truly an outstanding question. The answer i gave is true but not at detailed as the answer should be. My answer was i would rather love then be loved. Since this is my answer and it is true it makes sense why i am not pissed or sad or even hurt by the fact i am an after thought. The reason is i am happy when i make someone i "love" smile. Love meaning someone close to me boy or girl.

Now the reason i gave that answer besides the fact it is a simple straight forward answer and true. IS the fact in ever relationship i have give it my all to make it work, i go the extra steps that aren't need to make sure they are happy. If she is happy then i am happy since i know at that very moment i am the one you caused her to smile or feel the way she does. Also the ability to love is very important. I believe without the ability to care, to love we are not human. Its pretty simple reasoning i know but still. This is my reason and i stand by it.

As humans we have some very powerful emotions and Love is one of them. It makes us do crazy things that we would normally never do.

OMFG YESSSSS

SO this POST IS FOR JOE WHO IS NOW WORKING. EVEN BETTER HE IS PART OF A UNION NOW. AFTER A BIT HE WILL GET SOME NICE BENEFITS. JOE IS WORKING AGAIN LIKE YESSSSSS. GOOD FOR HIM.

First day at coop and reflection

So like today is my first day at coop again. I can't believe it has been like months since i have been here. It is nice to be back. Sadly tho i lost my office to some new guy that works with one of the businesses in here. I believe there is three. Icor, Talkway which are both run by George although Cheryl owns Icor. Then there is a photo thing here. Umm Studio DVM i believe. Since i have not meet this guy yet idk which one he is apart of. Yet he took my office >.< i shall kill him. nah i am using the boardroom so like its not too bad. got a tv with cable hook up, sound system, and a computer so like its all good. Although i just brought my laptop and i am using that xD.
NOTE FOR GILLIS: i am using the android phone for wifi mostly because i can, but yeah it works fine. I don't know what u did to mess it up i did the same thing we did at ur house and it is working and it is fast. /end NOTE FOR GILLIS

SO yeah i started my logs and kinda started the assignments i got to do for like oct 6th. xD. Yeah it is slow atm but like it is 10 am so not sure how busy i computer company would be.



OK SECOND PART
REFLECTION:
So this is mostly about me and like how i have been acting to people and shit like that. I have been semi fake for the past little bit. I have been really pissed off the past month or so and i have been putting on a fake smile and been happy for people. Like my fb status says "How u act means more to ppl then how u feel. To this i have chosen to act on how i feel so u all will get to know how i feel." so yeah i have decided not to make the effort to talk to people that don't talk to me or i don't deal with everyday. Since all i am doing is trying to form something thats not there aka a friendship. Since the Convo are always one sided me asking questions trying to keep convos going. so that is done. If i dislike you and i have been nice that is coming to an ended. If i like you hint Jessie and Kayla i am going to be more forward. Since for starters Kayla u and i already ruined one relationship u had why not another one. Also u and i were doing stuff before u decided to date Taylor. I can't see him as ur bf. He is ur ma-boy servant. You date him because u can control him. As for Jessie OH MY GOD please make up ur mind and let me come see you soon. Stop this whole game of u needing to figure shit out for urself then deciding to flirt with other guys. You have no idea how much u effect me. I have liked you for so long i just never say anything happening and when i finally did i was so happy. Then after that one night where i thought things could work out everything stopped and it seems to be going backwards. So yeah i am going to be more straight forward with you two. starting now and whatever one i end up with i will be happy, since both of u effect my emotions and my day more then anything.

OK

WEll most importantly Jessie is single and i am still good i guess she didn't answer that. part but we are still talking so i will take it as a plus. I will help her with whatever i can, that she wants my help with. idk y i am trying so hard to make this work, every time i do that it doesn't.

yeah, yeah, yeah....

so school is tomorrow, that should be fun i guess. idk i don't really need it. No i don't need it. I only took school because i didn't want to be screwed over and end up doing nothing. I got a job now tho so like School is in the way of me making more money and working more shifts. The only reason i am not dropping out is because i want to finish what i started and it is coop. I don't want to ruin a relationship with a company that could end up hiring me. Although not like i do much at Icor anyways xD, i already told work that if they really need me then to tell me in advance so i could get out of coop.

Also it is going to suck since most people i am friends with are going to university and college that aren't in Hamilton so like that kinda sucks. No it does suck, but its good for them and i hope they enjoy themselves.

So yeah i am i am not sure whats going on with Jessie and i, i thought things were going good. I was getting ready to ask her out when i take her out on a date which she agreed too. Then today she has a bf so say fb. >.> i really hope she is single and it is a joke or like idk i want her to be single. xD If she is dating this guy i have proven once again the nice guy finishes last, well no i can't say that maybe this guy is better then me. Not like its that hard. I am most likely over thinking this but since Jessie stopped talking when i brought it up and was like i hope things work out, she stops talking and i am like UGH.

oh well i guess things happen right School tomorrow, setting up my parents computer and yeah thats my day tomorrow. xD
Weds i am hanging with Nicole :D that should be fun i haven't gotten to hang out with her in ages. then thursday and friday i work and saturday, i am chillen with Ryan and later on my dad is going to help me with pool. and sunday i work. I have cadets the monday after that idk when i work next week, i will find out thursday.

yo!

so.... this is eric playing around with doms android phone....err... clara and scott are alone upstairs in my room right now not making any noise....errrr. yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh xD

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new phone

sooooooo like i havent slept xD. Gillis stayed the night at my house. he came over to get my phone with me and to play civ 4 with paul and i. So yeah that means gillis didn't sleep either. which is bad seen like he needa to write his g1 today. xD i was too untill i bought my phone and like my work choose not to use direcrlt deposit. for me pay this week. so i am broke >.< untill i work and get to cash my check.

but yeah whatever the phone is awesome and well worth the money. i deff say ppl should buy the samsung galaxy s.

btw this post was done off my phone

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so should today be a good day :D:D:D:D:D YEAH

SO Today should be and has all the making of a good day. Now i must admit i have not slept yet and i am coming off and 8 hour shift, but yeah whatever DOESN'T MATTER. So i know today has kinda started shitty tho. Since like my friends Jessie she went to the Hospital this morning. She just blacked out and yeah she has a concision now and like she needs to get blood work done now and like all this. I am glad she has a friend with her to cal the ambulance when she blacked out. She had me worried. NOT COOL just saying and i hope her and i are hang out tomorrow like idk if i have to go to her house and just chill because she can't leave. Like i want to see that she is ok.

The rest of today should be AWESOME, LIKE i DoWnLoAdEd Black and White which is an sick games. For those who don't know. I played for like 6 hours and i told Gillis i would play for an hour, the only reason i stopped was that Jessie messaged me because she got back from the hospital. so yeah...

I am getting my Cell Phone today, Yes android Galaxy will be mine. HEHE. then i am getting headphones and i think i will play a 32gb mini sdcard for my phone. After that check me balance to make sure i have enough money to cash Eric's check. Since a Check has a 5 day holding bullshit.

After we are going to Adrian's to play video games until picking up timetables for when school starts. Its funny i only need mine to see where my locker is xD.

/end post

so another post i guess...

I guess i should write another blog post that no one will read >.>

Well i have been working a lot, which is a good/bad thing. It is good because i am being kept busy and making money. Keep my parents off my ass for the most part. Also it is helping me find balance in my life. It is a bad thing tho because i am throwing this balance away. I am working to much and being anti social with most people. So as much as i hate the hate i only have 3 shifts next week i guess its good because i can hang out with people and get stuff done.

Drama with Caroline is done :D, Joe, Eric, and I where at his aunts and we took his puppy for a walk when we were like lets go to Caroline's and like fix things since thats what she wants to do. So like after being gone for 2 hours and at least an hour and 45 mins was with Care talking. Which was good because like we cleared everything up and like things are good again. Which makes me happy one less drama thing that needs to happen.

I am hopefully getting my cell this sunday, Android galaxy :D. If not this sunday then tuesday i guess.

/end post that no one will read

don't have a title xD

so i have the next two days off plus today :D then i work four days in a row. Which is cool since i like work. Yeah today i had to call a person because i am fixing there computer which is cool but i doing it sometime next week. I will find out when i am when i know when i am working xD. Tomorrow i wanted to hang out with Sammie or Michelle but Sammie is chill with Care and i am sure she doesn't want me there so i didn't even ask if join along. Michelle is sick :c i hope she gets better soon. So i am chillen with Gillis tomorrow i hope, knowing him he wil be like my moms being a bitch i can't come. then i will be like >.<, Nah i will just go to Joe's house since i haven't seen him in alike a week. On wednesday i am going to chill with Jessie i am not sure what we are going to do but whatever. What sucks is am broke until like next week tho. I have had some shorter shift this week and got off early on like 2 or 3 nights or my pay is going to be smaller :C. Which sucks but whatever i should still be in the 500 area i think xD.
As for today its my chill day, i slept in which is 11 for me xD. Then i had a shower and all that and ate something. since then i have been on my laptop. very nice and easy going day if i say so.

My sister is going to dye her hair blonde and like the front part blue. this should be funny since she has never dyed hair before. I can't wait to see how it turns out. :D

Also i failed at growing my hair out until school starts because i cut my hair like the other day and it is short again. not a short as i normally do but still. Idk it was too hot with long hair omg. i will try again after my birthday

:D :D :D

ok so i am happy as hell. I have my new laptop now that costed me 624 O.O there goes my pay xD. I also got to hang with Michelle today and i can say we had a very good time

Soo i just realized

Yeah so i was called Dom a lot yesterday, which is fine thats the short form of Domonick. The problem is everyone calls me Dom and it kinda just hit my last night i hate Dom. It really bugs me xD. I don't mind Dam since my real name is Daminico, hell i wouldn't mind if ppl called me Daminico. I put Daminico on my resume and in brackets Domonick. Guess what one they use Domonick. :S the name i but in brackets like. so idk i am good with Domonick, Daminico, Dam, and i am sure there is more i am forgetting but since i can't remember its not a big deal. But yeah i dislike being called Dom. It makes me feel uneasy and i am not sure why. :S

what a good day

So i the start sucked with the how Mike thing and his basement >.<
but once i left that since he wasn't there at 12 and i just went back to Joe's.
On my way back there i ran into Joe and Josh and we went to Tim's. We all got something and where just chillen and talking there. Having a good time and all that. Then Joe and i freak out. Josh is like wtf is going on. We ran into Mr.Dowling and saw him go into the was room. Which cause Joe and i to freak make a sense and leave wit out him seeing us. Once out of Tim's we see a library. not cool man. then we were back at Joe's and like we played some video games and just chilled out. Then Alison came home from swimming and i commented about how she was wet xD then in a bit i saw her hat again and i commented about how i loved that hat but she couldn't use it until winter. Then yeah playing video games then watching ECW and i started to talk to Rachel, having a webcam convo. Then her and Joe talked for abit, then i talked to her again. Then she left. Then i played video games then Gillis got there and i had to leave. Over all a very good day

Annoyed

SO i haven 't slept and i left Joe's house early to get home to do that work for Mike, my neighbor who is redoing his basement. Turns out he partied last night so he be up until like 12ish. LIKE WTF now i am tired and annoyed at him since he didn't give me a time. Everyday he has been working early on this basement >.> Plus gillis passed out and i don't think he is coming anytime soon. ugh this sucks. i could be sleeping

Hopefully Joe or Josh see this

Heyy Joey thanks for having me over, sorry i had to go before u guys got up and all but i had stuff to do. Working on my neighbor's basement with Gillis. I had a good time and i really needed that to like relax. I should have slept but whatever i finished my anime. So finish FMA and tell Alison to finish it aswell since she is have done. If gillis and i finish early and we are not dead tired we will call on u ok.

good day

well good day is more like good night, since i worked all sunday, which is cool. I enjoy work and all.

But yeah chillen at joes house was more fun. I was going to bus it there from work but Adrian came and got me so that was nice of him and it saved me alot of time :D. Then when i got there, Gillis was playing a game and joe and josh were watching wrestling. So was Alison but idk i ended up talking to her and yeah her and i just talked about anime and manga and cats xD and idk a lot of random stuff. Then we all played day of reckoning 2, which was awesome :D. i think Day of reckoning is still better then 2. I didn't win any matches tho >.> first one i got rid of joe then i got pinned by josh, second one Alison K.O. me with an iron pipe, Third Joe K.O. me with his foot i guess xD. Fourth Joe escaped the cage same with firth. But on the fourth Alison could have stopped him but she messed up xD oh well. Sixth it was royal rumble and i was the worst character ever xD but yeah i got like a guy out maybe two with Alison's help. Joe got all moody since Alison accidently knocked him out of the ring. Oh well its just a game lol. Then we all started to watch are own animes xD. Then ppl went to bed, i haven't slept yet which was a bad choice since like i have to work on my buddies basement and on tuesday i have work sooo not muh sleep coming my way.

new tamplate

One day i won't be lazy and i will try and make one of these templates, instead of just using them. Well i like this one. It should stay for quite some time i believe.

The problem...

The problem with must relationships is the seven sins. this is going to become is funny since i relate to religion for a second to bring up the seven sins. Which are Pride, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, Avarice(Greed), Gluttony, Lust. Most of these is the reason a relationship can never work out.

Pride:
The pride of a person too be known as someone or to see recent people can cause a person to avoid dating a recent person; of wealth, looks, weight, boob size, penis size, intelligence, and many other things its not hard to think of. There pride would not allow them to be seen with this person even if they where the nicest person and the world. Causing i fatal flaw in the relationships. It is also know as being shallow or going for people's looks. This is there pride. If there is no pride tho you will allow yourself to be walked on and pushed aside.

Wrath:
This is simple, the wrath of a person effects the relationship greatly. Thinking about some one who gets angry easily and lashes out at people. That would cause pain and harm so people would not want to be be around that person. Yet a person that is too calm and has now wrath or keeps it bottled up, makes people think your are calm and likes you but could never think more then that since you not showing such emotion.

Envy:
The people like every sin here you need balance in your life. A relationship is a two way street. IF you ever make it one way it will fail. For the reason is that if you only become envious of the person and only see what you want from them in your character you will not see what you already have in your character that people like about you. You will not see it. Causing yourself to become low of self esteem. Yet it is nature to do envious of others that wants pushes us forward in life.

Sloth:
This sin is different everyone thinks about being lazy is bad not matter what. Which is true that being lazy can be bad. It shows lack of interest, caring, and motivation. which is bad, with out any of those of course in balance you would do nothing and waste life. Yet without being lazy at some point we would all be workaholics and over worked to the point where can not function. You need to see both sides. Once again every thing in balance.

Avarice(Greed):
Well i am sure this one is very blunt, at least for the negative side. You want what you can't have, you will throw away anything you have for something you can never grasp. Too many people do that in a relationship leave one person to try to have someone they know they can't have or get yet want. Avarice(greed) is a very powerful emotion since it is very easy to be greedy. In your culture it is pushed on us that we deserve the newest, best product out there. It is hard not to be greedy in todays time. Yet like envy with out a little greed we would never push yourself forward.

Gluttony:
hmm the sin of eating xD, no the meaning of gluttony as a sin means addiction. Addiction is bad and normally to end one addicting you start a new one.most addiction you think about are drugs, which will cause problem in a relationship even if they both do drugs and are addicted to it. What a shocker eh xD. Yet there is the addiction to a person, which is bad because once addicted to a person . Well each person act differently. There actions could be as simple as trying to help them out when every they can to trying to look like them or stalking them. Even throwing away there life to be apart of theres. None of that is healthy and will never help a relationship. The positive thing about addiction... i don't really have one. I guess it shows you care for something more then yourself, that you have the motivation to finish something you started. How ever it will end. (if you have read this far and you have a positive thing for this please comment)

Lust:
Well Well my favorite sin xD. The physical attraction and enjoyment of two people doing well dirty things. The two must common ones, are cheating and rape. Now to refine that cheating doesn't really need it. You are committed to one person yet you have sexual relations with someone else. The one i want to refine is rape, there is the one that is like a no brainer which is against the will of two people that have no relation of that time. where there is also rape in the sense of couples where some one feels pressured to do something and doesn't want too. either way both these ways are bad. It will never help a relationship. Lust is sexual attraction so again like everything in balance, IF you move slowly and with your partner and never force anything. A trust us formed and you should be able to fill your lust with your partner.

The end fact is that balance in you life is needed. The seven sins are good and bad for your life it is all about balance.

What is love...

Many have asked this question to me, What is love to me? and have you been in love?

TO answer this i have to say who i have loved, out of all the girls i have dated or liked. I have only had strong feelings that i could consider love i am not even sure if it is. That list goes something like this:(order means nothing)
-Kayla
-Karla
-Brittany
-Caroline
-Corrine

Most of these people have have gotten over which is why i feel as it is not love. Karla, Caroline, and Corrine have all been nice to me had i had really strong feelings at first but they changed or i did. Maybe it was just not might to be. I do not know but it doesn't really bug me. Kayla and Brittany i am not sure i should but them together since things are still at the beginning with Brittany. I had/have strong feelings for her but she walked all over me and left with kind yet heart breaking words. Where Brittany is nice and kind hearted she could never do something like that, she is funny and cute and agrees with me on a lot of things. The only problem is that no one wants us to be together. We are not sure about thing. I feel that i have strong feelings for her but it that because i like her that much or because i want to go against everyone and date her anyways. I am getting over Kayla is what i am saying and it is hard to let go but its the right choice, its funny at the start before anything happened she asked "should i look into this? i really hope you don't like me i don't want to turn another good guy down." At that time i had didn't like her, then i had a crush that we took too far and yeah i fell hard.

I also like many girls but not with any strong feelings at the moment knowing that could change. Its the whole man-whore thing. It kinda sucks, i need to learn to care for only one person which i can do once i am in a relationship, but before that i am a mess.

So what is love, love is the basic feeling that is not never complicated at all, Everyone whats it to be, yet it is not. Love is the feeling of someone needing or wanting you for them self. The feeling that they care and think about you as you do them. The fact they like you more then others and wish to be physically and mentally closer to you then anyone once. Love is a very simple emotion that causes confusion in your lives. Since once you think or are in love that person be comes the most important to you over everyone else. Which is why it can turn so badly. Since it is just a feeling it does only take one. So you can easily love some one without them loving you back. which is the sad truth of life.

TO answer the other question have i been in love i have listed the names of people that i have had strong feelings for if i had to say if i loved any of them i would have to say no. Only because i was able to move on and but them behind me and for Brittany's case nothing has happened for me to tell.

A sad day indeed

Sammie never came online so i never got to hang out with her today, as planned. Also onemanga.com and 1000manga.com got rid of they manga. This is a sad moment indeed

Question

Need new manga to read any ideas?

LOVES STORMS

OMG OMG OMG OMG

THIS STORM IS SOOO SICK LIKE I LOVE IT. I DON'T KNOW WHEN STORMS ARE AROUND AND THEY ARE LIKE BIG STORMS LIKE THIS IT SEEMS LIKE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY AND LIFE IS SIMPLE. THEY SOUND AWESOME, LOOK AWESOME, AND ARE JUST PLAN AWESOME.

THATS IS ALL

bunch of things in one :D

First i am filled with mixed emotions. It all depends on what i think on. Since there is soo many things going on. Which is funny since i don't need to be apart of all of them but i choose too. It is because all i want to do is help.

i am happy for the fact i have a job, i can sleep in again, my fb is gone. These things are what are keeping my happy atm if i think about them. there isn't many things on the list atm but thats ok. Atleast i have some. i would like to put hanging out with friends and all that but like i haven't been able to hang with many ppl and i am busy alot, and the plans i do make ppl cancel. so yeah

I am angry for the fact people still can't let drama go and still cause it. The fact people still are backstabbing each other over pointless things. That my parents still aren't backing off on me fully. That i always try to put other people before me and know one notices and when something goes wrong i am blamed.

Sad, this is the worst one since it relates to my angry, how i become sad is so easy. I think about how i feel about whats going on, about me and my thoughts. Basically anytime i put myself first. i become sad. I don't understand why bit i do. Then i think about how i always put others first then i become angry. it is a very bad circle.

Whats sucks is it takes something little for it to set off. like today i was Talking To Korry and she is like Brittany finds u annoying and that u piss her off and she doesn't want to hang out with you. WOW that hurt but like fine if she feels that why then she feels that why, but i don't understand why she would act really nice and sweet to me. like it will get us no where if she legit hates me. so i was like Brittany can we clear the air and i asked her about it all and she like noooooo u don't at all. She wanted to know who told me but i didn't tell her the last thing i need is to cause drama between Korry and Britt. so yeah Britt does like me and i don't piss her off so she says. which i want to believe her. I want Korry to shut up idk if she knows how much she is hurting me but whatever she is. i also don't know how hurt i am going to be if it turns out korry was telling the truth >.<

Yet after all that i was ok, then i was like oh btw thanks for coming on that walk with me to get my lil bro (she didn't come). and She was like don't make me feel bad. xD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what don't make u feel bad really u don't like it bitch what the fuck do u think ur doing to me. but no all i said was xD that funny and when she asked whats funny i was like don't worry about it.

So yeah that put me in this like annoyed mood i guess.


TO COMMENT ON OTHER BLOG POSTS
-Eric: Shadows are awesome and i love the way you wrote that post. Like i legit like it. i wish there was a like button xD

-Sammie: i know how you feel and i wish i could help, if u ever want to talk i am here. I don't understand how much u like him but i have a fair idea i think. I wish things would just work out. Its not fair the nicest ppl i know always have to go through hell and back to get something. Where assholes just get what they want in life with out any problems. That how it seems. so yeah just hang in there you will make it out alive u are strong. Caring for everyone is not a bad thing its the way everyone should think. If we did there would be no problems in life.

SO FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK THIS SHITTTTTTTTTTTT

What is wrong with females?! Like really. What to know why i am a man whore, its not 100% my fault believe it or not. IT is at least 50% females faults. you want to know why. because i really do want a nice relationship that could last. But noooooo i can't have that. Why WHY because i don't know. Every girl will do stuff with me and all the right words like ; your perfect, you soo nice or you a nice guy, You so polite, your caring, and so on. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HEARD THIS FROM GIRLS. Only for us to do shit then when i ask them out, ITS A NOOOO. Yet they have no reason, all most of them can say is nice guys don't always finish last or being perfect isn't always perfect, some other bullshit that says nothing bad about me. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. i am Tired of this. When i think i find a girl that likes everything about me and accepts me and things look good, everyone is against it and telling me to stop and they are saying shit behind my back to her, they are pretending to be her to me and saying shit. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT. All i ever do for girls is out them before myself and try to make them happy. All that ever happens is i get screwed over. Yet the Girl i don't like and i am not so nice to i just kinda put up with them like me, Girls with boyfriends like me. LIKE REALLY is it 1000% my fault i am a man whore i think not.

Better question then whats wrong with females, whats wrong with me. Why do i only get girls to like me but not date me, willing to do stuff but not do stuff if we were to date.

wow so umm.... yeah just wow

So today is my first day off work since i started monday xD. but like i already miss it. since if i don't have plans for the day i end up doing nothing. so i like work it keeps me busy for 8 hours.

anyways thats not what this blog is about. This is about how messed up girls are. Today i learned that i could mess up to relationships if i wanted too. I AM NOT GOING TOO. The thought that girls would tell em that i could is like WTF, do u want drama. So first is Taylor, her and i have history kinda and since that time we became close friends. Today she tells me that she still likes me and she has all this time. Well thats great but she was the one to say no and she has a bf so why tell me now she still likes me idk. So yeah i just show her bf that convo or i make a move and that is that. AGAIN NOT GOING TOO. The second one is Jessica, she is dating a guy as well they have been dating 7 months i think. She was over today and umm well how kayla and i act it was kinda like that on a lower level. jess just like made sure she was sitting on me at all times and that i was holding her. if i wasn't she moved me hands xD. idk how much more of a sign i need. she ut my head on her chest like WTF. i don't want girls in a relationship. i don't even want to date them atm. Now for a girl who is single. so in my last rant/blog post i talked about Brittany and korry and my sis. Well it trys out that korry my friend from like when we were little likes me. which is cool but i don't see her that why. I do for Brittany tho which is Korry's bestfriend( thats a girl ). So that cause problem and last night she tired to end things with Brittany and i. lucky Brittany told me that it was all korry and my sis and that she said nothing. (they stole her iphone) plus korry knows brittany's password for everything. So i got to talk to brittany today and show her the convo from last night and i got her opinion. to sum that up she not sure how she feels for me atm. which is fine we are moving fast as it is. Thats coming from me.

So i am hanging with Brittany, Korry and Andrea tomorrow. i wonder how that will do -.- like really. if i am lucky Brittany and i might get some alone time to talk, since all Korry and Andrea are going to do is bitch and say how we shouldn't date. My sister has bitched soooo much that she got my parents trying to talk me out of it.

Stupid drama, thanks sis

Sooo now that i am done with Kayla and Corrine, i was happy. I now have a job. My dad is more laid back. Things are looking good. Then Brittany appears xD. which is awesome because we are both crushing each other. so again another plus. what else do i want. well there are a few things but whatever. My life is very good at the moment.


Brittany and i have been flirting like very lightly the past week or so. Things looked good until. Korry asked if i liked her and i was like i don't really know her that well but from what i can tell she is a great person. She kept pushing it so i was like ummm ok well are you like trying to tell me to back off and she said yeah. which hurt but really it is her best friend (female), since i am her best friend that is male. So Korry and i talked about what would happen if Brittany and i wanted to date since she gave it away and told us both we like each other so anything that happens now is quickly then it was going to be. I said since we are both your best friends we would need to ask you if it is ok, also i would make sure that no matter what happens we would stay friends. I also told her that i might a a flirt but since you have known me for 15/16 years or so you think you would know. Once i have a girl i am no longer a flirt. so yeah i am a loyal guy. That i would never hurt Brittany. Which my sister thinks i would do. My sister thinks i am the lowest form of life and that i just go from girl to girl. which is not me. She thinks i was flirting with Taylor. A good friend of mine but i wasn't thats is just how Taylor's and mine friendship is. but whatever if andrea just shut her mouth i wouldn't care. But no she seems to have the need to open it up and say how much she thinks i am going to hurt Brittany and that i am a no good asshole. Funny since i thought i was a nice guy. oh well. well Brittany knows her opinion and she said she doesn't care which made me very happy. Just proves how awesome Brittany is. Where after talking to Korry for like 2 or 3 hours she has come around kinda and agrees that i am not bad for Britt. so if Andrea could shut her mouth and stop pissing me off i would be really happy. since i think i might really like Brittany and we haven't even done anything.

i am done being Kayla's guy she uses to get out of relationships but i am still her friend. noting more, and as much as everyone thinks we should be more then friends i disagree now. Kayla was fun not going to lie, but she a flirt just like me. i just liked the attention and the fact it was soo easy to get. i was mislead by this and thought it was something more because Kayla and i also talk about some deep things. that not everyone knows about. Yet i shouldn't date her. She is good to have a a friend but what Kayla and i are doing is going to change ever fast since i like Brittany and i do now want to fuck this up.

update on drama and the lack of

okkk soo the past couple of weeks were drama drama drama... well things are getting better. :)

so As for things with Corrine and i, well i told her that i liked her but i just want to be friends because i felt it was the right thing too do. which was a good choice on my part since she wanted to be good friends. so things between us are good and finished/over. makes things simple.

Kayla wants to date Taylor because of this we are no longer kissing in any form. and slowly cutting back. once They do start sating we might change what we are doing depends on how he reacts. anyways KAyla and i are close friends and things are good.

Things with my dad well, after that fight and me just faking a smile around him and lying though my teeth to him is going fine once again. what helped that is i got a job and that made my dad chill out a lot and the fact he is back at work.

so now i have no drama of my own going on and i have to force on my training fo work

Job hunting

So after job hunting for the past week and a half for 3 hours every day. i finally got a call back and an interview. At A&W i figured it was the one at the mall so that where i went for the interview xD i was wrong it was the A&W on upper james. so i called the guy told him that i went to the wrong one and that i am on my way. i caught a cab and i was 10 mins late. i asked to talk to Phil(owner) and i had to wait like 2 mins. then i saw him come out with a girl around my age and she just finished an interview i thought. i was like fuck in my head she got the job. so Phil called me over and shook his hand and we sat at the back and talked. After about 10 mins he was like so yeah i want to hire you what your email so i can send you your shifts and the online training that you need to finish before you start on the job training which starts on my first shift which is this monday at 3 pm.

ROAR...

so for like the past week and a half i have been job hunting, for 3 to 4 hours everyday. thursday, friday, sat and sun i didn't sleep. so on sunday morning when i was getting ready i was pissed off with everything thing. so when i got back my dad is home and he notices i am in a bad mood but i told him to leave me alone. (not as nice) so yeah then i went upstairs to be aone and maybe sleep xD. but i went on msn to find out that my friend Zoe's grandma died that night and i was talking with her when my dad decided to bug me about my mood. so i like my dad but not as a father anytime i try to see him as a father i hate him. (thats a diff story) so he started to bug me and he won't let off. and i was like just go away i don't want to talk to u. and he left for about 4 secs until he got to his door and was like fuck this. and he came in my room and hit my keyboard told me to get off my computer. now besides me job hunting for a job it was also to keep him off my back if i went he said he would leave me alone. so once he hit my keyboard i stood up through my keyboard into my screen and faced him where he grabbed me pushed me over my desk into the wall where i grabbed my bed and pulled myself to my feet. after that he said is today the day acouple of times, remembering that we are like in each others faces. and i was about to hit him when he let go said come talk to me when u cool down. and he walked into his room and slammed the door. so i took off. went to go talk to Kayla but since i am pissed idc whats goin on around me so i am walking though red lights causing cars to like go around me or stop when they have the right of way. ppl said shit and ppl looked at me like wtf so on. first almost death car just missed me like i felt thecar with my hand, then yeah Kayla wasn't home so i was even more pissed and everyone is at school or iwould have gone to Nicoles or gilis. so theni walked to Joe's which was like an hour and half away. again did thesame shit with thecars but likenothing happened. got to joes adn told him what happened and he said i couldstay the night so i was likealright thanks man. i was good, pissed but little more relaxed. So Gillis gets home from summer school and Joey and i go to his house i tell him what happens and he is like u can stay at my place. so we went to the mal because we were going to anyways, and we spend the day there chillen with chels. on the away to the mall from gillis there is this bridge over the high way but like ppl go 80 on it anyways and i j walked against the light again not seeing a car and the guy missed me thank god. but like it was close like my first thing and the guy almost crashed. so he turned into a side street to follow us and when we got on to ur street tried to bitch me out but again i wasn't caring. he almost got out of the car to fight me xD, not like it 3 on 1. but gillis and joe talked him out of it. after having alot of fun at the mall i clamed down and i was like i need to make sure my computer still works. so i went home to almost start a fight with my dad again as i was putting my keyboard back together. stil missing acouple of keys and spacebar is alittle messed. but yeah we talked it out kinda, it really my saying sorry so he would then me fakin a smile again towards him

wow umm shitty day much, i guess idk i can see good things too.

So where to start oh about with the morning. I get up to go job hunting again :D thats always fun... not so much. when more so when your fam is going hiking again to waterfalls i haven't been to and want to go. so yeah they go and i go job hunting. i come home after job hunting for 3 hours to find out they are not back yet, how do i know this I AM LOCKED OUT OF MY HOUSE. which is fine i was going to hang with Kayla anyways i just wanted to have another shower since i was walking outside going from place to place handing out resumes but couldn't do that.

So i got to Kayla and i kinda felt something was different but like i figured no big deal she hung out with Taylor the other day. i just give her a kiss and things will be fine. but i never got a chance and when i go close to kissing her neck like i have done god idk how many times she wouldn't let me. i thought how odd but playing hard to get you never know. but we played cards and listened to music and then we went for a walk to TB. On this walk i got a chance to kiss her and she backed up and was like not today :, so i figured she wanted me to chase her and make a game out of it. No i was for real she choice Taylor, she likes him and wants to date him over me. She sees me as a friend. She wants to keep the close part of the friendship tho. which means i can cuddle her and flirt and hold her so on. but no more kissing of any sorts. Which made me idk i laughed its all i could think of doing it seems to be something id o when i am mad or sad i just laugh. i told her that i was going to ask her out and she like yeah i kinda figured that. so that was a nice walk back to her house to get my stuff and leave. for the first time ever with her i listened to my music and just walked i couldn't really stop. idk we hit a cross walk and the light was red but i just kept walking. i just wanted to go but at the same time be with her. idk it was weird so when i got back to her place i got my stuff and left. thanked her for having me over. i went to my moms work and got a drink. Nicole was working (cute scene girl with awesome hair). so yeah then my dad called the work when i was there and was like i am sorry for locking dom out. >.>

so then i got home and i changed my name to i am sorry how i reacted, i should have been better then that. hoping Kayla saw because i was sure i made her feel bad and i didn't want that. so yeah she saw it and was like you reacted better then most would. i felt so stupid. for how i acted. but yeah we talked for abit and i told her and i mean it i hope that things with Taylor and her work out. so then she asked are we still good friends, which i was kinda hurt by i told her i would be by her side and i mean't it. i am here for her when she needs me. to quote a song

"There is something that I gotta say.
It's disgusting, how I love you.
God, I hate me. I could kill you.
Cause your messing up my name.
Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.
It's disgusting.
It's disgusting, how you changed me."
-Ke$ha, Disgusting

The highlight of my day, Allison told be about 7-11 thing this sunday :D i was happy.

so yeah then i had dinner and when i got back i see that Kayla messaged me and that she wanted to know what i was doing after dinner and i told her nothing why whats up. and she is like i need out of my house plz, and i was like alright come over, and she was like really. i told you i would be there for u i am not going back on my word. so yeah after again feeling hurt because i guess she thought i would say no. she came to my house. i meet up with her at upper Sherman and i was like whats wrong and she is like Fam shit and i gave her a hug and held her. Then we went to my coop where we meet up with Phil, Korry, and my sisters. after a bit of back and forth talk some how they decide that we should play cops and robbers. so Korry starts to message ppl who Andrea thinks would want to join. Then in like 10 mins Brittney joins us, some creepy kid. so i am talking with Korry for the most part until Kayla and i end up on the slide and we are just chillen. it is like 9:22 and we are waiting for ppl to come and like i was trying to figure out where Andrea was so Nakia went to see if she was in the house and she was. so then when she comes out Nakia is like Dom you need to be in the house in 8 mins. I was like WTF ummmm for real that is 9:30. So i went to talk to my dad to figure out what is going on, after i whats goin on at 9:30 and he says you need to be in he is like be care how you talk u might end up in your room like your sister. so i shut the door and go back to the back. and i rant to Kayla how i want to kill my dad like i lived with out for so long like why now, so Kayla trying to comfort me and i think seeing how pissed i can get. Because what Kayla caused me to do was nothing compared to how i was acting thanks to my father. and when i noticed my dad left i eye sight. i was late so i was like i have to go to Kayla and i asked to cross that line one more time and let me give her a kiss, she didn't want to saying it would only keep happening and i told her on my word it wouldn't and she let me. i think it was sweet of her.

Then to my dad i went, i walked in and he was like thanks for being on time its not like it is 9:35 which pissed him off so he says, sayings shit like i see how much you think of me. like really. anyways he is talking to me about it when my sister Nakia gets in and he like go to bed and she tries to say something and he starts to yell i am done with you go to bed and yet she tries to say something and he yells again FUCK OFF. so she goes up stairs crying, then we finish our convo about how he didn't want us at the park so he called us in. yeah makes sense we can't hang at the park :S. whatever and he is like you can try to catch up to Kayla and walk her home which now it is like 9:50 -.-; yeah so i just went for the walk to clam down. when i got back he was talking to andrea and they were not getting along so i went up stairs, after a couple of minutes i hear bang bang bang bang and andrea coming up the stairs. i go down stairs and see water all over he kitchen floor so my dad through his cup at the wall or ground. the rest of the bags idk, but i felt it through the house so. then my mom and andrea start to fight and my dad joins in. so i am ranting to Kayla, Gillis, anyone else online and then when i am about to tell Zoe and Tell kayla what happened with my dad and i like 6 years ago i get called down. so i go and my parents start talking to me about do i understand and all this and i wanted to end quickly so i was like yeah i do, put they kept talking like there where trying to prove something and like i got back up her to finish this at 12:30, they called me down at 11:30.

All this bullshit

ok fuck drama like really, no ones likes it so why is it around. >.<

I am done with trying with Corrine and Kayla whatever one happens happens. If neither of them happen and another girl will i guess. Its not like i am not a flirt or anything. Like i know why i like Corrine and all but still if it hasn't worked out after all this then maybe its not going too. Maybe i should see that. As for Kayla it is all about me asking her out so maybe i should just do that. Then i can be happy even for just a little bit, it is better then the shit i am going though right now >.<

My biggest mistake was letting Corrine read this, but like really she wanted to and i had to tell her some time what happened with Kayla and i. She knew how i felt. Like idk whatever.

Oh another thing if anyone wants to know how stupid i am when i was like i choice Corrine and shit, yeah will i hang out with Kayla the other day (yesterday) and guess what i am still a manwhore. We made out i kissed her on her neck, holding hands, cuddling, smacking each others ass. Anything i shouldn't have done i did if i am going for Corrine. which is hard when she is not talking to me -.-;

LIKE REALLY, Corrine all u do is talk about Jared like i know you like him as well. Too bad you live no where near him and you guys won't date. At least your not like leading me on 100% only to like ruin the day we had by saying i am sorry i done the same thing to you twice now.

Speaking of which Kayla stop leading me on if at the end of every night when i walk you home and i kiss you good night you say your sorry, because we both know that since i didn't ask you out that night you will end up dating Taylor and i will have to wait. Since you know that you are most likely going to date Taylor stop doing shit with me or don't say your sorry because really we are good friends and really close i don't mind. i wouldn't mind dating you but like i need to hang out with you again. That is the only thing that needs to happen. If i ask you would say yes and even said that and hinted at it. At least you talk to me.

RAGE QUIT

My Dad

WEll i am like on a decent relationship with my father. The past four years has been good. My father is a normal man like everyone else and has his flaws. so what i am about to write about him is only for me to calm down, because i am worked up about it at the moment.

So for seven years my dad cheated on my mom, we only found out at the end of my grade 8 year. Yeah that is awesome right >.<

Anyways because of this he was never home maybe one or twice every couple of weeks. Because of this we never say money from his pay checks, since they went to drugs, his clothes, and the girl. So for seven years my mom had to raise 4 kids by herself, and she had to work. Which meant i gave up my childhood when i was younger to help my mom with my sibs. now also i had no rules i did what i wanted the reason out of all things my mom had to worry about it wasn't one of them. We couldn't pay bills or get alot of food, there was times we had no electricity for a month or like i would one eat once a day or so. I had it bad but noting compared to my mom, she wouldn't eat so we could eat, she was the one that had to worry where the next meal was coming from and where we were going to get money to pay the bills and how to stay how not to get kicked out.

They tried to kick us out a couple of times didn't really work as you can see.

So i have forgiven him for what he has done to me. What i haven't forgiven him for is what he did to my mother. I don't know if i will ever be able to. I know we need him well at least to live they way we are now. but we did survive seven years without him i think we could still manage.

What bugs me even more is that he makes rules for me and all he does is make me feel small like i am shit. Like i am a waste of a human body. The only time he has said i am proud of you is when he talks about how i finished high school. If we are not talking about that i am nothing, around friends he is nice and a cool guy like he can be.

Again my Father is a good man, who is a human and has the seven sins like everyone else. He has been good father to my sibs and a good supporter for the past four years. he is a fair guy to deal with and only wants to give the best he can know.

i feel better now

My choice, it should have been clear

Well, everyone knows i am done with Kayla. I am glad she left her bf it was the right thing to do. I am disappointed that she didn't tell him about what happened with her and I but not my place. I don't really know the guy but i am sorry and i want to tell him myself but again Kayla should. Other then that after Talking to Clara, Gillis, and Nicole they just made me see that my liking Corrine is the right choice and that Corrine is awesome. Kayla isn't worth it and as much as she is a good friend i could never date her with trust.

I am still sorry to Kayla tho even tho she wanted it. i should have been able to stop. then again having two people say do it doesn't help. So i am sorry i caused that drama but i am glad it is done.

Grandparents

so last night was most likely the least amount of drama that has been at anime night in a long freaking time.

Anyways today i woke up and got ready to go to my Grandparents, what am i doing well. I happened to need to weed for the garden which we started at 11 and we finished at 2:30. Yeah weeding is fun :\. meh its not too bad but it was hot out. I am sure that my farmers tan just got darker lawl. (not what i needed). The other reason we are here is because tomorrow is my sisters birthday. Nakia for those who know my sisters xD. she is 13 tomorrow. Since we see my grandparents today, we are doing today as well, because well my grandparents like to be a part of it and we are a very close family. Tomorrow she is having some friends over and i think a couple are sleeping over. I am there for a bit but i am leaving at like 4ish to hang out with people. i brought her lunch the other day. She seemed to like it. -.-; i used most of my money i am broke now. She wanted a Nintendo DS i and she got one well is going to get one later today when she opens it. I had to open it and do the settings for her. I made her screen name Nakia (Key) which is the two names she uses and her PM Happy birthday :3.

well back to my family...

Revisited( today and my feelings about it)

Well skip over the grad stuff and my marks that is the same.

OK hanging with Corrine, was FUCKING AWESOME. Okay so first, i scared the shit out of her downtown when we met up. so then we went to the caves like we planned and had a nice hike/walk on the trail. With a lot of pictures along the way :D. Once we hit the cave we went down and i talked Corrine into going first, it was a problem for some reason. so once we started she was like oww every 5 secs from hitting her head xD which i was like i said watch out and you told me you saw it. she lied xD. well once the cave opens(getter bigger) and we could walk in the cave and not crawl, we hit the point i stopped last time where there is a drop and we were not sure if we could get up. but i looked at it and was like i can get up so i went down, and then Corrine joined me and we had to take pics. so then we continued along the cave and i saw a point where it would be ok to get passed but hard to get back and i made the choice to go back. i lead the way out, yeah she got me to go first on the way back. i was like well lets continue the hike so we did. then when we got out i we checked the map and i showed her what we did and the cool things that happen if it rained or the water level raises. Then we went to Tim's where i bought us food, as much as she didn't want me too spend money on her xD and i had to tell her that i was taking her out i have to pay lol. so she kinda gave in.after that we got to the bus stop where i like hugged her but it was also a hold and she was like your warm and we kinda just stayed there for a minute ands enjoyed it. then the bus came and we got on and started towards mount albion falls. She has never been there before so i had to take her :D. She loved it and wanted to take pictures of everything. then i asked her if she would like to watch a movie sunday and she said YES, so i am like soo happy. so she wants to see Get him to the Greek, so thats what we are going to see. i hope she knows i am paying for her. i don't care if she likes it or not, i asked her out so i have to pay for everything. We talked about maybe she would come over tomorrow(today it is 12:24 am atm). so i kinda hope she does. lets just say that hanging with Corrine has reminded me how much i like her and that i am done with Kayla, maybe after i date Corrine i will try Kayla again but i hope that Corrine and i can last this time around. since this is completely different from the first time. It looks a lot more promising and we are closer then last time. so i hope for the best with Corrine she is truly Awesome.

Today and my feelings about it

So first off i graduated last night, it should be important so yeah it is there.

I disagreed that i had to get up early to get my marks, to make sure i graduated xD. Nah i knew i did i could have failed the exam and i still would have graduated so whatever. i got a 77 in english and a 89 in coop. my avg is 84.3 this sem and last sem was 80 so honor roll for me.

Today i am hanging out with Corrine and i have mixed feelings about it, because i have liked her for a long time and if you read my blog posts you know that i have a little drama going on with Kayla. I have to parts of me when it comes to dating and it is my deep side and my manwhore side. Kayla has my manwhore side like no problem. She also has a bit of my deep side from some of the convos we have had. How we grow up so much like and that we are almost the same person. Where Corrine you i have dated in the past and things got bad and we are closer then friends then last time, has my deep side no problem bu is kinda trying for my manwhore part. The problem comes in the fact i am not sure you i want anymore. i have known Corrine longer and we are closer in like a deep sense but idk Kayla keeps things fun and playful and i feel so good around her. I would have chosen Corrine over Kayla like last week but after everything that happened i am not sure how i feel or what i should do.

Well no i know what i should do, Kayla has a boyfriend and Corrine doesn't. I should be flirting with Corrine and see if we have a chance to date again. Let Kayla figure her stuff out and after she is ready and i am ready Kayla and i could try. Corrine is i super nice person as well, and we could have a long relationship that is how she is if she likes you. I could end up dating both it is who will i first. idk i am lost and confused about how i feel.

Gillis tried to help me but its not really helping, besides he has his only shit to worry about. So yeah i am going to hang out with Corrine today and i will see what happens, maybe just maybe i might be able to be happy for the day.

On a side note Kayla plans on telling her boyfriend what happened and how she cheated on him. She also is gone from thursday to monday. so she need to see him today, but she is kinda busy and he is not home so she is kinda freaking since she wanted to tell him before she left.

so random freaking day... guess it was karma at least someone might think that

So today started with me getting up, no being woken up by my dad to get ready. i wanted to snap then i had to remember he didn't know that i pulled an all nighter the day before and i didn't so to sleep until around 2am. so yeah lack of sleep is a good way to start a day. lawl. so then shower, get dressed, and all that. then i had to pack since i was staying at Gillis' for the night for grad tomorrow. so i also had to pack my grad shit. i missed the bus so i walked to his house.

i got to Eric's house only to find out he was asleep and his mom was at work. His grandma was like no no you can't get him up i will u stay down here :s. so whatever i did then i put my suit in the closet and started to watch tv. after about 3 times of his grandma going up to get him i just went yup to get him. Guess what it worked xD, i could have saved so much time.

So we went out to job hunt and yeah talk about shit. well i wanted to know what i fucked up with Joe. it seems tell someone something even tho it made things better just not right away. so whatever he is pissed because i talked to Nicole but whatever. i am glad things worked out for him even if its not what he wanted its better for him. now the job hunting went well to bad most place for once talked about hiring me, not just taking resume and leaving. One guy even told me he would call in 2 weeks :D.


After that we were kinda just chilling and like what we going to do today. so Kayla was like come over. not asking more like telling. so yeah i talked to gillis and we were going to. then Eric's mom came back and like said she was taking us out for lunch :D so we did and we got a meat lovers pizza <3. After that gillis took forever lurking shit on fb and writing his blog taking his sweet ass time to bug me so i couldn't hang out with Kayla. >.< but i watched FMA: brotherhood and like that ep was freaking awesome, but i am not sure if how they are making one more ep. everything is closed and tied up. but yeah after that we went to kayla's


the rest of the day we chillen with Kayla.

Now we got there and we went upstairs to her room where eric befriended kayla's dog and well i flirted like hard with kayla. so much so Gillis was like i am going to tim's. so we all went and like after he got his coffee we chilled beside tim's and like my foot and part of my leg went to sleep and i couldn't really walk. but after that we went downtown. then we met up with Kyla's mom first hard part of the day. i had to stop flirting xD because kayla has a bf and her mom knows that. so yeah we found little ways too but like nothing like we normally do.

after that we went back to kayla's where Eric chilled on the back and well kayla and i again flirted. after a bit her mom came up and was like kayla your the host i am goin to take the dog for a walk. so yeah we went down to eat dinner. which Gillis mom took and kinda made him go home and iwas allowed to stay. but he was allowed eat. so as we went downstairs eric went ahead of me and Kayla tried to to kiss me and i didn't let her. which both eric and kayla was like >.< so... yeah. i might be a man whore but she has a bf.

then by the time we got downstairs gillis was leaving and we had to make him stay and eat more then he left. -.-; so after Kayla and i finished up we went after him. when we got to his house i called to his window where he joined me for a 2 sec talk before his mom freaked and made us both come in. then after a phone call i was able to get outside. Kayla :), so we flirted and talked about if she really liked me then she needed to break up with her bf. after abit gillis came out and i had to talk to my parents so they talked.

after this eric's mom took us out for coffee, but first we went to get a movie and then coffee. Kayla and i both don't like coffee we had to get it. so yeah we both got a ice coffee and her and i shared one and i gave mine to gillis. then we went to the mount brow. where kayla and i went for a walk and where i finally broke and kissed her... and things seemed good tho. i was happy she was happy, i didn't feel bad for breaking my our morals. idk it could have helped she told me she was going to leave him, not like she had a choice.

when we got back we had to drive Kayla home so we did and i walked her to the door and we kissed a couple more times. we said good night and things seemed good. when i turned away to go to the car Eric screamed something stupid. but yeah. when we got back to gillis house and i finished helping his mom dye her hair. i noticed that Kayla was saying she was confused. so i asked her whats wrong, is it the choice you need to make leslie or me. I don't know how she made this choice after today and how well things went, but she said she was sorry and that she still liked leslie. -.-; which i said was ok and that i told her i would be on her side all the way. but now i feel like a jackass because now she cheated on him he will never know and my broke a moral rule i had. Gillis doesn't seemed so worried about it tho. so idk she is hanging with Leslie tomorrow, wonder who she will be thinking about, the guilt would kill me, just saying

NEW BLOG OMG

SO IT HAS BEEN LIKE A FUCKEN LONG ASS TIME SINCE I BLOGGED ANYTHING.

ANYWAYS I BE AT GILLIS' HOUSE RIGHT NOW. WHY BECAUSE IT IS WHERE I SHOULD BE AT DON'T DISAGREE. SO LIKE YESTERDAY IT WAS FRIDAY WHICH MEANS ANIME NIGHT MOTHER FUCKER :D. AND YEAH I WATCHED SIX EPS OF ANIME. MOST WATCHED ZERO AND FEW WATCHED LIKE 4. CLARA AND LIKE SCOTT HAD LIKE SEX IN JOE'S ROOM WHEN THE REST OF US WENT TO TIM'S. THEN LIKE TODAY, OMG I WAS GOIN TO GO TO GILLIS' AUNT'S PLACE BUT NOOOOOO IT HAD TO RAIN AND HIS MOM WAS SICK. BUT WHATEVER I WATCHED LIKE 10 EPS OF ANIME SO :D. THEN WENT TO GILLIS HOUSE AND CHILLED THEN WENT TO KAYLA'S PARTY :$. WHICH WE WERE THERE FOR LIKE 3 HOURS AND I HAD A TOTAL OF 20 MINS OF GOOD TIME. IF YOU NEED TO KNOW THEY ALL HAD TO DO WITH KAYLA AND ME FLIRTING LIKE BADLY TO THE POINT WHERE ERIC SAID YOU TO SHOULD BE DATING. LIKE HE SAID WE SHOULD BE FUCKING THEN I PICKED HER UP AND WENT AGAINST A FENCE AND YEAH :$ AND WHEN WE WHERE SO CLOSE AND HE BF ME PULL HER TOWARDS ME AND SHE IS LIKE THATS ME BF FOOL AND I WAS LIKE UMM SOO AND SHE IS LIKE SHHH ;). SOME HIGHLIGHTS. THEN WE GOT BACK TO GILLIS' PLACE WHERE I BE STAYING THE NIGHT xD. THEN GILLIS BECAME A CAM WHORE xD. THEN HE STARTED PHOTO EDITING. NOW WE ARE JUST CHILLEN AND DOING NOTHING.




btw caps lock was indeed needed :D