My Dad

WEll i am like on a decent relationship with my father. The past four years has been good. My father is a normal man like everyone else and has his flaws. so what i am about to write about him is only for me to calm down, because i am worked up about it at the moment.

So for seven years my dad cheated on my mom, we only found out at the end of my grade 8 year. Yeah that is awesome right >.<

Anyways because of this he was never home maybe one or twice every couple of weeks. Because of this we never say money from his pay checks, since they went to drugs, his clothes, and the girl. So for seven years my mom had to raise 4 kids by herself, and she had to work. Which meant i gave up my childhood when i was younger to help my mom with my sibs. now also i had no rules i did what i wanted the reason out of all things my mom had to worry about it wasn't one of them. We couldn't pay bills or get alot of food, there was times we had no electricity for a month or like i would one eat once a day or so. I had it bad but noting compared to my mom, she wouldn't eat so we could eat, she was the one that had to worry where the next meal was coming from and where we were going to get money to pay the bills and how to stay how not to get kicked out.

They tried to kick us out a couple of times didn't really work as you can see.

So i have forgiven him for what he has done to me. What i haven't forgiven him for is what he did to my mother. I don't know if i will ever be able to. I know we need him well at least to live they way we are now. but we did survive seven years without him i think we could still manage.

What bugs me even more is that he makes rules for me and all he does is make me feel small like i am shit. Like i am a waste of a human body. The only time he has said i am proud of you is when he talks about how i finished high school. If we are not talking about that i am nothing, around friends he is nice and a cool guy like he can be.

Again my Father is a good man, who is a human and has the seven sins like everyone else. He has been good father to my sibs and a good supporter for the past four years. he is a fair guy to deal with and only wants to give the best he can know.

i feel better now